april showers bring may flowers

let's just say april has not been my month...!

 just try and picture your biggest nightmare happening, 
and that will give you a glimpse of my past week. 

my world sort of came tumbling down on thursday when my 
whole life was basically stolen from my car. 

i got out of class early and my brother invited me to go on a walk with him. 
i came back to my car with windows smashed and a sudden realization of what was taken.
i am usually so good at not leaving valuables in my car, but this 20 minute walk was of course, the one time i did.

as a graphic design major, your whole life is in your laptop. 
everything i have spent 4 years worth of time on, was gone.

my final printed portfolio, every file (not to mention all my adobe programs), every jump drive,
memory card, pictures, wallet, credit cards, planner, a million gift cards, expensive headphones, every stitch of makeup....

everything.

i couldn't even cry for a good 5 minutes because i was so in shock. 
my brother brad ran to see if the park had surveillance cameras, 
and i just sat on the curb saying,
"everything is gone. everything is gone." 
over and over.

my heart was broken.

i am two weeks from graduation, and I have zip to show for it. 

i will go to the final portfolio review you look forward to since getting accepted in the program, yep. with nothing. 

i have spent the weekend just crying and crying and crying to my poor husband.
he has been incredible. to say the least.

it was so neat to see how he reacts to a really sucky situation.
 his perspective on life has been so inspiring to me.
this was our first big trial together, and honestly he couldn't have been more comforting and positive.
it has blown me away!

after all the police reports, watching surveillance videos of where this person used my credit card,
canceling all my credit cards, calling our car insurance...i just laid on my couch while
ralph immediately rubbed my feet and put on you've got mail reassuring me a million
times that we will be just fine. 

just a few samples of what he said to show you how amazing this guy is.

"abs we have years and years to make more memories. those pictures were great, 
but we have even better ones to take from this point on. let's just make new memories with even better pictures!"

"this is so great. we get to take you shopping all day tomorrow! you can get whatever
makeup you want! we will just spend all day at nordstrom and sephora."

"let's plan a trip. it will be so great. now that we have to spend all this money to replace everything
at least we can get flight points! let's pick a place!"

"guess what! you get to pick out a whole new wallet. what color do you want? let's pick a cute one!"

"this is like a fresh start! you were the designer, everything you made you created. 
now you have a clean slate with all that experience. it will be great!"

"now you get a new drivers license picture! you didn't like your last one! it's perfect!"

as we lay in our bed...
"you know what? i bet wherever that person is sleeping, they aren't on nearly as nice of a bed."

am i lucky or what?
this makes it sound like we have all this money to blow...ha! we don't. 

but even though i have felt so depressed and just heart broken, i have felt so much love.

the night after, ralph and I went to look inside all the dumpsters nearby the park,
to see if they tossed my backpack in any trash cans...just worth a shot.

we left at about 11:00 pm and as we are pulling up to look,
there was my brother scotty.
he didn't know we were coming to look,
we didn't know he was coming to look.

inside the wendy's dumpster getting fry sauce on his pants, just looking.

i have cried a lot in this past week, but that about did me over.

i love my family.

even though i wanted to think that this world is just full of cruel, selfish people...
i have been shown that i have so many incredible people in my life.
 that is all that matters. 

although i can't replace the pictures, files, documents, etc.
i have everything i need with my loved ones, and i realized that the second
i had dozens of texts and phone calls, gifts, flowers, gift cards,
caroline immediately drove down from logan to be with me and
i saw my darling brother knee-high inside a dumpster.

i am the lucky one.

and hopefully, that person who stole my stuff will feel that love someday.